I went running outside for the first time in a few months today. How quickly I forget how running clears my head, helps me think, makes me focus and lets my mind wander all at the same time.
I ran my first marathon this last October. Each step of that race I felt myself falling in love. I will absolutely do another marathon...possibly two in 2012...because I've fallen in love again. While the race was amazing and I loved every minute of it...even the mile-long uphill battle at mile 19 that had my heart and legs screaming at me, which only made me yell at myself (yes, out loud...I only got a few looks) to push harder, and not give up...while that was incredible, my true love happened during my training. I discovered 'me' again. After what seemed like so many years of being outside of myself...living the 'average' life that 'so many' strive for...I finally took the time to look inside and rediscover the 'me' that was always there. I never left, I just needed a few hundred miles and two pairs of running shoes to get to know myself again.
So here I am today, in north-central Minnesota...with NO snow, venturing out for a 3-plus mile run that gave me more than a literal breath-of-fresh-air. It gave me my therapy time back. Some people spend thousands of dollars on therapy, which is absolutely fair and fine, I am a huge believer in therapy. However, my therapy bill now comes in the form of a Dick's Sporting Goods receipt with many Nike and UnderArmour purchases to support my habit...err...therapy sessions.
So what, in all that I could write about on this Christmas day, made me want to share with all of you my experiences in running? It was a single moment I had while out on the Paul Bunyan Trail...a patch of snow covering the paved trail that caused me to initially think, "Ok, patch of snow coming up, good place to turn around!" Then I looked at my GPS app on my phone, I was just at my mileage I wanted to turn around at...but golly darn it, this run was feeling so good! What is a girl to do? Crazy solution...I ran off the paved path onto the leaves and grass along the side and ran another 1/4 mile past where my expectation was set. And it made me think...what a concept! Think outside the paved path and you end up going further than you expected. Yes...oh yes, my friends...The Average Jill found yet another life analogy from my daily escapades.
On this day, when so many of us are feeling grateful for everything we have/received/experienced/count as blessings, in the coming days will go back to our daily lives and continue down the path we have paved for ourselves. Well...some for ourselves, many that were laid for us. Funny how one patch of snow could make me feel empowered and sad at the same time. You all know at one point or another I'm going to talk to you about your life goals, ambitions, dreams...sorry, but I think about this crap a lot! Make fun of me if you like, but my heart tends to want to inspire others before inspiring myself. However, I need to narrowly dodge vicious patches of snow in order to inspire me to inspire you! Yes, I have been called 'high maintenance'...I prefer 'Type A'.
So why did the patch of snow make me feel sad? I thought of all the choices I've made that kept me down the path that was expected of me. The path that disagreed with my heart, but felt more safe and sound than roughing up the waters of rebellion and walking (running) off the paved path before me. Why did the snow empower me? Maybe it's that I ran 26.2 mile in 4 hours...maybe it's that I'm realizing that I am actually the one in charge of my life...but ultimately, it was the choice, however small, to keep going. To not let 'me' limit myself, and to go beyond my own expectations. Because that success, my friends, is one of the greatest satisfactions you can experience. Believing in yourself enough to love yourself to a higher level.
So today I tell you all...Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, many holiday blessings to you all. Ultimately, we're all celebrating the gift of love. When it comes down to it, there is me, my love of my god, and the love I give to others...including myself.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Feeling Overwhelmed? Yeah, me too.
Alright, I don't know about you all, but the last two weeks have been a test of will in more ways than one. Do you ever feel like the list just never ends? Like no matter what you start and finish, there is no rest to be had...you just have to move on to the next box to put a checkmark in. Can I ask why it seems when I'm having a run of tiring days or overwhelming weeks that most people I run in to during that time are experiencing the exact same thing? I can't decide if it's the barometric pressure (can it be a full moon for 15 days straight?) or if it's the old saying...Like Attracts Like. I'm afraid it's the latter.
Which is what scared me into making this a better week for myself. Yes, you read that right...I SCARED myself into a better attitude. Why do I use the word scared? Because eventually I get sick and tired of being sick and tired and I just want to feel better already! And it scares me that the only person that can truly turn my act around is me. Yep, that goes for you too. Sorry.
A friend of mine pointed out to me the other day that the auto-type on their phone immediately changes the word 'scared' to 'scarred'. Made me think...those two words go hand-in-hand, don't they? What scares us is a result of our scars, our beliefs we've come to carry because of our past experiences. Do you ever dream about living an extraordinary life? Are you? If not, what is your fear? What scares you so badly that you let your scars get in your way? I know what some of mine are, and to even say them out loud makes me cringe, because they're the very thoughts I'm trying to get out of my head in order to move forward with my goals. My scars are visible through my actions - or at some times, my lack of action.
So what made me change this week? I decided. Yes my friends, simple as that. I decided. I decided to wake up, say a quick prayer for myself ("God, please clear my thoughts and open my heart"), tell myself that I have a lot of energy (ok, coffee helps), and go about my day as if it were awesome. And you know what happened? It was. Awesome. Funny how that happens.
So The Average Jill moral is this: no matter what your list looks like, no matter how many check-boxes you need to fill, please...for the love of god Please...decide to go about it with a clear mind and open heart. We all feel overwhelmed when we're caught in the whirlwind of day after day, week after week, month after month, year by year. Ask yourself, how long do you want to live like that? It's your decision, you know. No one else is living your life. Remember what I said in my first blog? No one gives a crap what you do or don't do...they're too busy thinking about themselves! Life's too short to see each passing day float by because you had too many errands to run or too many kids events to go to. Slow down for Pete's sake and BE QUIET. Try it. You'll like it.
I invite you to post in response to the questions I just posed, and even share what you're struggling with in your day to day whirlwind. Trust me, you're not alone in the rat race. We're all trying to get to the better days ahead. And there ARE better days coming, if you decide to let them.
Which is what scared me into making this a better week for myself. Yes, you read that right...I SCARED myself into a better attitude. Why do I use the word scared? Because eventually I get sick and tired of being sick and tired and I just want to feel better already! And it scares me that the only person that can truly turn my act around is me. Yep, that goes for you too. Sorry.
A friend of mine pointed out to me the other day that the auto-type on their phone immediately changes the word 'scared' to 'scarred'. Made me think...those two words go hand-in-hand, don't they? What scares us is a result of our scars, our beliefs we've come to carry because of our past experiences. Do you ever dream about living an extraordinary life? Are you? If not, what is your fear? What scares you so badly that you let your scars get in your way? I know what some of mine are, and to even say them out loud makes me cringe, because they're the very thoughts I'm trying to get out of my head in order to move forward with my goals. My scars are visible through my actions - or at some times, my lack of action.
So what made me change this week? I decided. Yes my friends, simple as that. I decided. I decided to wake up, say a quick prayer for myself ("God, please clear my thoughts and open my heart"), tell myself that I have a lot of energy (ok, coffee helps), and go about my day as if it were awesome. And you know what happened? It was. Awesome. Funny how that happens.
So The Average Jill moral is this: no matter what your list looks like, no matter how many check-boxes you need to fill, please...for the love of god Please...decide to go about it with a clear mind and open heart. We all feel overwhelmed when we're caught in the whirlwind of day after day, week after week, month after month, year by year. Ask yourself, how long do you want to live like that? It's your decision, you know. No one else is living your life. Remember what I said in my first blog? No one gives a crap what you do or don't do...they're too busy thinking about themselves! Life's too short to see each passing day float by because you had too many errands to run or too many kids events to go to. Slow down for Pete's sake and BE QUIET. Try it. You'll like it.
I invite you to post in response to the questions I just posed, and even share what you're struggling with in your day to day whirlwind. Trust me, you're not alone in the rat race. We're all trying to get to the better days ahead. And there ARE better days coming, if you decide to let them.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
And so I begin...
Let me start by saying "Thank you" for visiting my new blog. I have been thinking about/meaning to start this for quite some time, but have just not 'gotten around to it'. If you've read my bio you probably already guessed that I am - however slightly - type A. Anyone else? I live and breathe by my 'to -do' lists, cry if I miss the slightest details (yes, ok, I DID forget to feed the dog this morning!), and my main mission in life is to gain the approval of those that surround me. And do you know what I've learned from living my life this way (thus far)?...That all of it is a bunch of crap. While I'm wasting my time worrying about what other people think of me, I've learned that other people aren't thinking about me at all! Isn't that incredible? Why didn't anyone tell me this sooner? I could have saved myself a lot of time and energy knowing this fact, and I may have turned out happier for the wear.
So here I find myself, truly only about a year after realizing this fact in my very soul that noone gives two rips if I change jobs, color my hair, or refuse to do the dishes for a week. This last year gave birth to my thoughts about starting this blog. Why? Because the things I've learned and stories I've accumulated made me realize that although I live an "Average Jill" life from the outside, I am anything BUT average on the inside. And I thought maybe, just maybe, there are other women out there feeling as I do that could benefit - or at least find humor in - my stories and learnings.
AND SO I BEGIN - By the way my week started this week, I thought what better time than to start my blog than now. Because my week started with...wait for it...head lice. Yes. Head lice. On my 5-year-old daughter. Holy Frick, why did God ever make these hellish bugs? They serve absolutely NO purpose other than to live on a human head. That's right! That's ALL they do! Trust me, in the last 48 hours I have become a minor expert on these god-forsaken things and let me tell you they are no picnic. My daughter is a trooper though, she's sat through the nit-picking (which, by the way, I now have a whole new appreciation for that coined phrase!), hair cutting, and even vinegar washings like a champ. I'm not going to go into detail here on the treatment and prevention of head lice, sorry. Please see www.mnlicelady.comfor more information on that - fabulous site! Rather, as The Average Jill I must establish up front my view of life as seen through situations like this. Here's what I mean by that - I stayed home with my daughter yesterday and spent approximately 4 hours combing through each strand of her hair looking for nits - the lice egg that is about the size of a pin head...and I enjoyed every minute of it. Bet you didn't see that coming did you? Yes, I had a fantastic day yesterday checking my daughter for head lice. Why? You need to meet my daughter for one, this kid has taught me more about pure happiness than any other being on earth. She is a joy to be around and she can make you giggle even in the midst of your worst moments. Second, I'm just going to say it - I'm pretty damn proud of myself and my mommy abilities I displayed the last 48 hours. I am 33 years old, a mother of two, a college graduate from a fine private institution, home owner, and full-time working-world woman - and my greatest accomplishment this week was tackling head lice like nobody's business. I wasn't grossed out, I didn't panic, I only felt like bugs were crawling on me for a few hours. These small crises, however manageable and common, present moments for us to shine even if it's in front of our own mirror. While I am thouroughly exhausted from the last two late nights of treatments and all day cleaning and picking out nits, I am so incredibly satisfied. Maybe it's the gratification of my maternal instincts, being able to care and love for my daughter in a weird and different way. Maybe it's the fact I've gotten 1 1/2 days off from work just to be at home with her watching movies and baking cookies. We've shut out the world for a few short hours the last few days and just been mommy and daughter. Whatever it is, I'm liking it. The problem is, the world is waiting. Head lice and all.
So I challenge you this week, my new devoted readers - find gratification in something this week that you maybe normally would not. Be conscious that your attitude defines your gratification and your situation. What may look like head lice could be your next learning moment.
So here I find myself, truly only about a year after realizing this fact in my very soul that noone gives two rips if I change jobs, color my hair, or refuse to do the dishes for a week. This last year gave birth to my thoughts about starting this blog. Why? Because the things I've learned and stories I've accumulated made me realize that although I live an "Average Jill" life from the outside, I am anything BUT average on the inside. And I thought maybe, just maybe, there are other women out there feeling as I do that could benefit - or at least find humor in - my stories and learnings.
AND SO I BEGIN - By the way my week started this week, I thought what better time than to start my blog than now. Because my week started with...wait for it...head lice. Yes. Head lice. On my 5-year-old daughter. Holy Frick, why did God ever make these hellish bugs? They serve absolutely NO purpose other than to live on a human head. That's right! That's ALL they do! Trust me, in the last 48 hours I have become a minor expert on these god-forsaken things and let me tell you they are no picnic. My daughter is a trooper though, she's sat through the nit-picking (which, by the way, I now have a whole new appreciation for that coined phrase!), hair cutting, and even vinegar washings like a champ. I'm not going to go into detail here on the treatment and prevention of head lice, sorry. Please see www.mnlicelady.comfor more information on that - fabulous site! Rather, as The Average Jill I must establish up front my view of life as seen through situations like this. Here's what I mean by that - I stayed home with my daughter yesterday and spent approximately 4 hours combing through each strand of her hair looking for nits - the lice egg that is about the size of a pin head...and I enjoyed every minute of it. Bet you didn't see that coming did you? Yes, I had a fantastic day yesterday checking my daughter for head lice. Why? You need to meet my daughter for one, this kid has taught me more about pure happiness than any other being on earth. She is a joy to be around and she can make you giggle even in the midst of your worst moments. Second, I'm just going to say it - I'm pretty damn proud of myself and my mommy abilities I displayed the last 48 hours. I am 33 years old, a mother of two, a college graduate from a fine private institution, home owner, and full-time working-world woman - and my greatest accomplishment this week was tackling head lice like nobody's business. I wasn't grossed out, I didn't panic, I only felt like bugs were crawling on me for a few hours. These small crises, however manageable and common, present moments for us to shine even if it's in front of our own mirror. While I am thouroughly exhausted from the last two late nights of treatments and all day cleaning and picking out nits, I am so incredibly satisfied. Maybe it's the gratification of my maternal instincts, being able to care and love for my daughter in a weird and different way. Maybe it's the fact I've gotten 1 1/2 days off from work just to be at home with her watching movies and baking cookies. We've shut out the world for a few short hours the last few days and just been mommy and daughter. Whatever it is, I'm liking it. The problem is, the world is waiting. Head lice and all.
So I challenge you this week, my new devoted readers - find gratification in something this week that you maybe normally would not. Be conscious that your attitude defines your gratification and your situation. What may look like head lice could be your next learning moment.
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